My problem as of now is I have an empty life, and I need to figure out how to fill it, what to fill it with. What to do with all my free time.
I know, it’s a luxury to have free time. I’m a spoiled brat. Thanks for the feedback, helps tons.
But, assuming things are just as they are, there’s no weirdness to it or anything, it just is what it is, then I do need to figure out how to go about my days a little more orderly or pleasantly or what have you. The word, “fulfillment” comes to mind.
But I do still have rather intense paranoia. I don’t know, schizoaffective disorder isn’t the end of the world. There can be what’s it called, is it called relapse? Or is that when you go back to using drugs you were not supposed to? As always, I could look it up but wish to learn it organically. Google is sort of cheating. (“What the fuck is he on!?”)
So. I guess I just have to value things? But if it sucks, that’s the honest truth, too. So I’ll just keep looking, for now. For what I want and need in life. What my soul yearns for. I don’t have a clue what it is. But I’ll keep the search high and low.