As Dead As I Am Now

I don’t know what to do. It never comes out how you were planning. That’s the beauty of it, isn’t it? =)

I am, however, so desperately, profoundly, alone. Wow. Depression is such a deep thing. What does it mean? What does it all mean?

I am, so sorry to everyone I have hurt. I don’t know.

I worked out a bit today. No endorphins. Wow. I must have to go heavy duty to get just a tad of life out of my brain.

It’s so hard. Everything is so hard.

Why can’t I just cry all day and that be it.

I love.

I hate.

I don’t know what to do.

That’s all.

Let me write poetry for a career.

I’m so bad.

So many want so much.

Don’t you understand?

Can’t you?

Know?

And when it comes.

Why would you not choose

Otherwise

?

In Naples

In France

The Vienna

The Australians

Heathen undertow

Of a ball heating to a toaster

To it goes

It’s wrong

I said it

How it’s done

There’s nowhere

To run

I don’t like what I have anymore

And I think that’s GG

I think my life is over

I think this is permanent

And I just continue until I die

Until they bury me

As dead as I am now

That’s all

That’s all

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