There’s no meaning to life. Do I behave by the rules or by my own moral compass? They often disagree, which is why I accuse society of being a police state so often.
I started reorganizing some of my laundry, deep cleaning it that is. Deep reorganizing, to be specific. What to donate, which drawer to put what in, what to see if middle brother wants as a hammy down.
There’s no meaning to life. I find no joy in anything. I’M ON TWO ANTIPSYCHOTICS WTF my dopamine must be so low.
I fucking god hate it I have lab work tomorrow hate hate hate. Oh well.
And in the middle I have a phone call with my psychiatrist.
I just realized I missed an apt with chemical depndancy. Fuck. Twice in a row. How embarassing. And she’s a total neonazi shithead so it’s hard to confront her about anything or she just gives me shit. Medical professionals.
I guess I’m so subtle and sensitive. Can’t hide your bullshit from me!
Ugh. I don’t know hwat to do.
Life is not good. Life is not a good thing.