I feel

I feel

I don’t want to be artistic anymore

It makes me a drunkard

It makes me scary

It makes me a psycho

I don’t want to be an artiste anymore

I just want to say it like it is. I feel this force telling me no don’t do it that way. I also don’t want to fight anymore, so I can do it your way. But I also don’t want to do it your way.

Then it told me to quit, just now.

I am in so much love.

With my own life.

Does that make sense?

I drank last night. Again.

On Latuda. Which has a warning not to drink on it.

I just want to sleep more. The forces get me out of bed.

I need to brush my teeth. I didn’t yesterday. My hygiene is atrocious.

I just want things to be alright for once. I’m past my breaking point.

Inside my mind or outside, I want things to be normal. Or if not normal, compassionate.

I want to be okay. I want others to be okay.

I don’t know what to do.

Love,

v

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