I could be writing a 1000-character pm to my therapist, but you know what? Fuck that guy. Yep.


The Martian.






Do it do it do it do it.

I need to learn to learn. I need to improve. I have to improve other lives. I have to find meaning in the universe. I have to get back on track. This all has to happen so soon. I don’t know why. Why does it have to happen so soon? Maybe and or what if I have MORE TIME THAN I THOUGHT!? Eh?

Going on vacation with family to Italy bracketing my birthday. Should be good. Rome et cetera. Lovely. I love hotels and sight seeing.

I need to learn and maybe I just need to do a good job at work. What about grad school?

I hate my job. I do. That is an undeniable fact. I don’t know why. But would I hate any job? Am I just lazy? Is it just the laziness speaking? And if it is, should I not reframe my mind to accept that working for a company that cures (FRUCK NO CURES just treatments that is a common misconception, no cures, just treatments =/) treats disease is it…

And treating disease.

Why not make a company that cures one disease.

A simple one.

But cures it.



I don’t know what’s fact or fiction but the drag on my capsule is withering the steel in my mind is my suit on fire am I dumb under the ocean the drill is over already… already. And I fail. And I fail every time.

And that is why I love you.

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