Disney theme in the air. But just video remotes and old moldy sofas, because it rained in the apartment and leaked the ceiling on top of the housing building metropolitan high stories. Old fat says use that remote but it doesn’t work for anything; there are more remotes. There are a lot of TVs. Some of the remotes seem to be for things like Rolodex’s. Tons of remotes, TV’s, nothing turns on. Something was on for a while. It was a please oh God don’t make me watch any of that. We managed to turn it off. Me and two girls, one of them is young Sharapova and or was the other one my brother Andre? They played tennis on the court in the apt but I was invited I couldn’t just couldn’t. The place was run down and flooded even though on the top story of the building not by sea level rise just rain. Lots of browns and grays in the color scheme. No sun. No joy. But not strictly depression. More like the dirt from my childhood.


What now. The dreams, at least they have purpose. To find the right remote. But don’t you get it? None of them are the right remote!

I have to go for a short hike with my mom because she’s pushing it on us in half an hour. I don’t want to.

The sanctity of the peace of my life. Why is it not that simply I can sit in my room on my chair and do nothing a moment, and I am at peace, it is peaceful.

Why these psychic phenomena disturbing me.

It makes no sense.

I’m going to take a moment out for nowish. Hold on give me a few…

Yeah I guess it works but it’s more motion than peace. Does that make sense? There are things to do and ideas to process. So not strictly peace but peace in motion.

I have to shave.

I love visitors. Thank you.

There is a problem.

It’s a lazy Sunday morning. I can lounge in bed, wander around the house, and I am unstressed and psychosis free. My disease is not on the fritz in other words. So life is good. BUT, there’s limited time. Tomorrow is Monday, a work day.

And we have to go for a hike soon.

So. In heaven, but for a limited time.

Which basically ruins the whole experience. Just knowing that it’s going to end. It ruins it.


I love you I love you I love you I love you!

Gay faggedy ass ridiculous things on the internet like people saying gay faggedy ass. What am I. I must be some sort of clown. A duppa doo!

I did exercise bike for 5 min yesterday. And a walk thru neighborhood. The exercise bike is rough. But it’s good exercise.

I’m just keeping on talking because b/c I don’t know how to end this post is the honest truth.

End. End. No it didn’t work. I can’t let go!

You understand me? I have to go now! =O


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