Dad wants to buy an expensive house in Florida. Kinda of expensive, for our standards. I am rearranging my employment terms with ADA so I don’t at the moment have stable income, and he didn’t know that, and he knew something was happening with my job but he didn’t fucking ask and then it comes as a surprise to the loan officer just today on the phone, dad’s in Florida with him because he likes wasting money on plane tickets and hotel rooms. He has no sense of responsibility whatsoever.

Since I don’t have income, we would have to find another source, so we’re putting my mom on the loan, but also need more down payment (I think? it’s confusing) and dad says he can find 100 thousand dollars. He can’t. He doesn’t have that money. So now he’s on top of being a slimy piece of trash, a liar.

I don’t want to do anything other than put 10k down on this house. That’s all I want to do. But if I’m on the loan I guess I’ll be responsible? So, in other words, I refuse.

Dad is a slimey piece of trash. Fuck I hate him.

Mom’s a complicit coy piece of rabbit junk.

I’m out of suboxone because I missed my apt with my counselor Friday because I was asleep and my phone doesn’t ring loud enough–you never hear people complaining about their phones. A lot of agony in teh modern world can be traced back to poor design features, or flaws, in the phones and phone systems.

I need to refill my suboxone or tomorrow’s not going to be fun.

I also have to pick up my new antidepressant. I hate interacting with family. I don’t want ot alk to anyone and I don’t want anyone to talk to me. Shut up about money. Fuck you pricks.

Nothing I say matters. It doesn’t matter how tough I am. Their stupidity is stronger. They win.

I have to study data science and I have no motivation and no focus so I can’t.

I almost didn’t drink last night. Was very close. But I end up did. Only one bottle at night though.

So we’re trying not to drink today.

I hate everything.

No one is organized or courteous. No one. Everyone says they are. No one is. It’s a lie. You’re all gross fat fuck pigs. Eat slime, trash.

I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m tired of doing things for other people when they’re so slimy about it.

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