I have the time. I have the time for a relationship, grrrrls, I have the time to have fun and go hiking, I have the time I have the time I have the time.
Why do I not?
First of all, how do I meet grrrls?
And then, my mom doesn’t want me hiking alone. Says it’s dangerous. There may be some truth in that, although it is a bit scaredy cat.
I have an apt with my counselor today in a few minutes. It’s video but Kaiser’s tech dept. is having issues.
What kind of job am I training for? I need to figure out my life. Biology feels like the only thing I can do at this point. I need to broaden my eye. Figure out what else is out there.
Data science, presumably, is hiring a lot. I should verify my facts, though.
I wish there was fun stuff you could just do. Video games aren’t fun. Is it me or is it the world? I feel like nothing is fun.
I have to stop drinking. I’ve been at 1-3 bottles of wine consecutively (daily) for the last like 2-3 weeks. Wow. That’s not good. I’m going to start developing physical withdrawal if I keep it up.
You’d think it’d be easy, but it’s so important that you obsess over it and then it’s like, well, a simple switch from thinking about it and NOT doing it to thinking about it and DOING it. It’s so hard. I’m so scared.
La la la. Well. What else is new. So many problems. It’s just awesome.
I had a psychotic episode last night. These things really just come out of nowhere. It was like, spirits, and faces, and everyone spying on me, and thoughts in my brain, and voices being put in my head, and whispers, and faces in the wall, and just horrifying no privacy no resolve, just no peace at all. Ugh. So fucking scary.
La la la. Promblemas.