I’m fucked. I can barely put together two cogent sentences without yelling or screaming or complaining or what have you.
I feel panic, in my brain, panic. I feel it.
I can’t explain. It may be the lexapro SSRI they put me on. I’m starting with 5 mg, not 10, to be cautious. It would’ve only been worse at 10.
It gave me severe panic attacks before.
My psychiatrist is signing me up for CBT classes for anxiety and depression.
I don’t know what to do. I am making progress on data science today. I don’t feel good. All I have to do is read. Read text books. Read fiction. But my brain reading muscle is so weak I can hardly stand working it out.
I’m so pathetic. I can’t sit still and I cant’ read. Fuck.
I hate life.
I want to cry. Why is it like this?