I had an okay day. Lots of paranoia and delusions on the internet. I got angry at a lot of stuff going on in the world. Stupidity and self-righteousness of the stupid top my list. I believe it, therefore it must be true.
Fuck. So angry.
I have to go to sleep now. Or I don’t know. Do I? Eh. My psyche is softer than normal. Which is a good thing. I need it softer yet.
Watched a lot of Twitch today. It triggers me but is my only interesting entertainment, so I’m like, fucked, basically.
I relearned today that most people are stupid. So, nothing to worry about. lul kek.
I don’t know.
I still can’t relax.
Life is still miserable.
I still have no meaning.
I need to not only learn data science, but re-learn my work ethic. I don’t know where it went. I guess it died with the advent of my mental illness.
I say that so easily, and yet to think that it’s so foreign a concept to some is strange to me.
I guess I just live in a very well developed part of the world.
If I didn’t I would have moved. Guaranteed. I can not live in a backwards place. No fucking way. Fuck off, fuck you, Dubai, China, Afghanistan, Israel, Texas, Florida, where the fuck ever. I am not living there.
So sad. To see such travesty so normalized in so many places.
My second book of poetry should be coming out at some point.
I’ll need to advertize the first one. I don’t know how much that is going to cost. It’s really complicated and confusing. What’s a “bid”?
I still don’t have any friends.
Mom went to work.
Dad’s birthday was today.
We’re going to celebrate when he gets back from Florida.
I don’t know.
I wish I was, I guess, not thinking about everything so hard. I wish I could just let it come, flow, etc.