My mother doesn’t care about me anymore. She doesn’t love me. She feigns it, and lies about it. And then doesn’t help. She likes sleeping. She wants her own life. She’s not a good family member. She’s not really a family member at all, in fact. Useless.
There’s no reason to exist. I can’t do anything. The paranoia is draining me. It makes me hate people but it might not be real. I’m also very depressed. I can’t do anything. What else do you want me to say? That was me talking to the paranoia. It has a mind of its own. […]
I am so depressed. I don’t fucking know what to do. I’m pondering whether saying, “So much slime invading my life” and a youtube star telepathically is trying to influence me to be a “nice” person. But remember: Nice killed David Foster Wallace. Better to be real than nice. Don’t be a liar. What else. […]
There’s really nothing to do and nowhere to go. It’s not my fault. It’s the world’s fault. Society is underdeveloped and I was born in the wrong era. I have much to contribute, intellectually and cleverness-wise, but I am not enabled. I am held back by the primitiveness of our barbaric society. It’s sad. I […]
I’m currently paranoid. I thought it might be informative to write about what my perspective feels like at this point in time, while in the moment. People know me. People who have never met me know me. Through the internet. Through my traces I have left on the webosphere. And they all hate me. They […]
I have to mail my corporate laptop from my last job through Fed Ex still. It’s been a week since they gave me the label and I haven’t mailed it due to depression. They’re probably like WTF is taking so long. Do I need a quieter life? Less TV, more books? There’s always someone talking. […]