My friend responded to my email.
I had lost all his contact information. I deleted his phone number from my phonebook and didn’t have it memorized, and I deleted the same from email. But I remembered his email by brainpower because it is a memorable address name.
It’s been a few weeks, but he responded.
I don’t know what’s motivating him to continue relations with me, after all the nastiness I sent his way, but apparently there may be a mote of redeeming quality in me that he sees. Here’s to hoping.
Having someone to talk with during these times–unemployed, pandemic, mental illness–would really help me. This is going to be so valuable. And then, if we go hiking together, it would even net me some exercise! What a good deal.
I haven’t told my mom. She’s always interested to know these things. No particular reason. I just felt like keeping something special to myself for once. She’ll find out sooner or later, when I tell her. Blab. Leak.
Plans on moving to Sweden. The most progressive country on Earrth, imo. Stockholm ftw. Need a job there, though, to get the work visa. If I can study data science and get a job in the industry there, that would be massive.
This is all baby dream territory though. Like just starting to think about it.
My skin is still flaky from the hydroxyzine and lack of showering. I stink pretty bad, not that bad actually, but if you sniff my armpits there is a definite odor. Personally I like my BO. But oh well who knows.
I have to eat breakfast every day to digest one of my meds better. It’s so annoying. I’m not the breakfast type, I usually fast through it and am just fine, so, it’s sort of forced upon me.
I had delusions yesterday on the internet. I made quite a ruckus on my twitter account. No one’s yelling at me or blaming me though, which is kind.
Oh yeah! The topic for the day: wealth in the world. Innate wealth. Society, culture, nature, beauty, art, intelligence. Wealth. All under the category of wealth. And it’s just there. It just exists.
That is a thought that could carry me through some dark times I bet for a while. Not forever, but I think it might help.
I am starting to feel gross. I sense a shower on the horizon. It’s so uncomfortable though, getting naked and removing dead skin from your body with chemicals. Ugh. Bleh.
I have a birthday gift idea for my friend. He’s in autumn, near mine.
I still have to return the corporate laptop. I don’t know how much longer they will be okay waiting. My depression really keeps me from doing anything productive.
There’s this sense of love, for the wealth I mentioned earlier. Innate beauty in things, capacity, being.
I wish my vocabulary were a little better. To show off in poems.
It’s Wednesday. Poor Afghanistan.