What do you want from me? I’m being psychically harassed by my mother (remember those three months? yeah, me too), the internet, people on the internet, my brother, my father, and anyone I think about. No one is a good person. Everyone feels the genuine gut-crunching urge to harass me. Fuck you, fuckers. I want […]

Don’t live with your parents unless you have to, folks. No matter how much money it saves you. They are going to ruin your life. I don’t know why they’re such terrible people but they are. It fucking sucks.

I don’t know what I’m doing but I’ve just got to get off reddit. That website is fucking evil. Now. If I were really smart I’d say “get off the computer” period. But I’m not. I’m addicted to being on the computer. Just like my mom is addicted to rice. Can intelligence save this problem? […]

I’m so depressed. My dad wanted to play tennis with me so I told him I could, but then I changed my mad, and now I feel guilty and bad about it. Mom wanted to go for a short hike with me at the park and I said I could, but then changed my mind […]

For a while there I felt like I had a life. Then it went back to depression again. Doing things can kind of mesmerize you into action, that “I’m doing something” mindstate. It’s comfortable. I don’t get it often enough, as a depressed individual of inaction. My parents are so good at making me feel […]

Well it’s Saturday, like that’s an excuse to not study and learn and work hard. I’m so lazy. Is depression an excuse? So many people ask that question. It’s only natural given the degree of self-doubt. I don’t have the answer, because I’m in the hole too. Desperately seeking, not craving, craving is not the […]

I slept quite a bit yesterday. In one of the recent days, I dreamt of technological progress. Not from materials and metals, but from the mind. Technology starts in the mind. Anyway it was profound, how powerful it could move. I’m still a little depressed. It’s only been half an hour since I woke up, […]

Good morning. I had a dream last night (I have dreams every night, it’s one of my blessings), and part of it was ballet. So I woke up, and I was like, I need to watch ballet. Like right now. On Youtube. So here you are! Enjoy! =)