I’m so depressed. My dad wanted to play tennis with me so I told him I could, but then I changed my mad, and now I feel guilty and bad about it. Mom wanted to go for a short hike with me at the park and I said I could, but then changed my mind and now I feel guilty and bad about it.

I don’t do things because I don’t want to do things.

Why is that such a fucking crime.

My parents are Naga Sirens. They Nag a lot.


But really, they’re torture. They’re like fucking five year olds.

My mom asks THE MOST stupid questions you’ll ever hear. Ever. It’s so annoying. I just don’t answer. I just don’t.

I’d tell her to shut up but then she’d guilt trip me into thinking I’m a bad person.

Both my parents are manipulative slime from Ukraine old country.



I don’t have good genes. Not a good shot at this.


I’m so depressed, what else, now it’s not perfect, what is wrong? Something feels wrong.

I don’t get it.

What’s wrong?

Delusions. Psychic messages from people. Who is this one coming from?

Fuck I am so sick of being psychotic. This shit is so old. How do I ignore it?

How do I exercise?


Or does it have to be unnatural? Is that the only way?

I’m so sick of it.

I’m so sick of it all.

I have nowhere to go.

I get one appointment with my psychiatrist a month.

No therapy.

Wtf. Medical system is fucked.

Therapists have never helped me but I want to try again.


I don’t know.

I don’t have anyone to talk to.

There’s no reason to make art if no one is ever going to see it.

Everything I do is for other people.

I don’t really actually exist, because nothing in my life is strictly speaking for me, myself.

It’s twisted.

I don’t know what to say.

I have nowhere to go.

There’s no reason to study CSS because I will never make it, it’s too far away, a pipe dream like everything else.

My legs are growing weak, losing muscle mass, from not running like I did every day of my life for like 20 years.

I’m so fucked.

I’m such a loser.

I don’t know what to do.


There’s no good note to end on.

My blog is guilt tripping me, too.


Didn’t know I had three parents.

Or just three enemies really.


Nothing is good.

I’m so fucked.


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