There’s no point in writing in here. It doesn’t make me feel better. It’s not rewarding. I’m not helping anyone else out by being a mopey dick. Fuck. I just want to complain to my therapist openly about how ugly and miserable life is. I want to show her my view of the world, and […]

I need to exercise. I need to stop sitting in a chair all day. I have to walk, run, move my arms, play tennis, play soccer, jog run run run, I have to RUN indoor cycle lift weights, go to the gym, lift weights. Fuck I’m not doing any of that. Fuck. I feel terrible […]

Fuck. What am I doing. Why can’t I study but that’s not important. I need to think about love, and focus on it. And life. And beauty. What is beautiful anymore. What is in my life that I am thankful for. What are all these coerced words meaning. What am I saying. I wrote some […]

I have to watch some videos for my front end class but I don’t want to, really badly, kindof, I just want to talk to someone or hang out with someone. Twitch streams aren’t really, you don’t get much attention, it’s not really real. I have this like uncomfortable taste in my mouth, like lingering […]

I threw up again. I go and force it until the puke starts to taste bitter and my stomach feels relief. I don’t know what chemical is in there that is a combination of my meds and alcohol, or if that’s how it works, or if my body is producing it being triggered by the […]

How to start this. Like, super dramatic, or just whatever. I don’t know. Well anyway, point is, I drank last night. 4 beers. It’s starting to be less, when I do. But I still shouldn’t. It mixes with my meds and gives me a really bad chemically induced stomach ache the next morning. It’s like […]