I don’t know what to do. I should be paid just for surviving my episodes.

I mean, I’m supposed to be, but California didn’t get my doctor’s note so they can’t pay me yet. They haven’t paid me for three months of payments. I hope I get retroactive pay. Fuck.

I don’t have anything to do. When I tell my mom that she says no, I just don’t want to do anything. Whatever fuck off cunt it’s the same thing.

I hate white trash who have guns and like live in trailers with their kids and it’s just so sad for the kids. What conditions to grow up in. What terrible family and parents to have.

=(

Life’s not fair.

I have nothing to do. I have nothing to do. Fuck you fuck you evil malicious spirits. Fuck you.

Why is everyone on my ass.

I just want a normal life.

Why do I talk to my healthcare helpers so infrequently. This is fucked.

=(

My case manager coerced me into meeting in like, next week or two weeks I don’t know when. I think it’s next week.

Why didn’t we talk this time? Useless trash. I’m doing horribly, she didn’t even bother to ask. She’s a professional therapist, she doesn’t ask how I’m doing.

Kaiser is useless filth.

Fuck.

They’re ruining the leader’s name.

I want to do something. I want to run around on fields of grass, play soccer or something.

Mom’s going to fucking like chop her hands up in the disposal at the kitchen. Stop it mom. Don’t.

She’s so fucking stupid.

Why is life so bad.

Why is my life so meaningless and miserable.

Does anyone I’ve ever met in my life know how bad off I have it?

=(

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