I think the closest route to a happy successful life is to get my meds right, that means get off risperidone completely (will take a few weeks, about a month and a half), taper up on gabapentin–it seems to really help set my head straight, and if what the doctor says is true, will help […]

My dad, who has no empathy, insists on continuing to be loud and obnoxious Mr. Businesspants. He can’t feel when we are irritated with him. He has no social brain. And mom insists on knowing more about my meds and health than my doctors. The parents are brainless shits. In sum.

Twitch gives me what little dopamine my antipsychotics allow through, but it can’t replace friendship. I keep thinking, starting, but realize every time I have no friends. There’s nowhere to go. The parents are suppressing me and just really ruin my life. It’s so hard to ignore them when they own my delusions, my mind. […]

I have to accept so much shit from my parents. They just are shit. I don’t have to accept anything from them. Their noise. Their psychological torment. They are vile. Watching a fun new game on Twitch. Not innovative: Guns, military, shooting. Innovative: Many players per round (~100-200), two sides, tactical point-taking. Kind of cool. […]

It’s funny how the world works. Spirit is the most important, but then there are practicalities that you can’t do without. Like, my long nails (a practicality) are getting in the way of my comfortably typing (spirit). I miss reading. I want a natural transition. Says the lazy man. My father is obeses. He doesn’t […]