This blog post’s goal is to figure out what the meaning of my life is, and to how to support myself.

So I think the meaning of life right now for me is to support myself.

Financially, morally, emotionally, physically, nutritionally, etc.

First and foremost, money.

I should be being paid by the state right now, but my health insurance company is taking literally months to process the request for disability pay. I don’t know what’s taking them so long.

I just sent them a reminder email just now, literally a few seconds ago, asking them more or less but politely, what the shit where’s my money.


So money. Should be taken care of, but currently isn’t.

And who knows if it will be renewed next year. Will my psychiatrist work with me trying to establish a career? Will she be kind in renewing my stipend but tough on me to get me the motivation I need to get going in the workforce, and first off to study? For my next career?

All this could, in reality, end up going well. In which case I have no problems in life.

Bitch fuck dad wants to bitch at me like why I’m always sick. Fuck that fucking moron.

So anyway.

It was psychic, though, so who knows.

He likes talking through the psychic channel, assshit.

Fuck him.

So what was I saying.

Ya money.

And then the long term goal is to get a career.

I have chosen web design, game design, and poetry. So likely I’ll make most of my money through web design. I don’t know how competitive or rough the market is. I’ll have to figure out how to attract clients, a whole new ballpark I imagine.

But I’m looking forward to that part, tbh. It’s the pedantic study study that has me stuck and hating life.

So anyway.

Next I need to maintain my mood. Which will be much easier if I have steady income.

Exercise should happen. If I just go for a walk every day, I don’t know if that’s enough.

A hike with mom every weekend? I don’t know if that’s enough either.

Literally I need to just jog 10 min every morning through the neighborhood. But I fucking hate jogging.

Ok so we’ll figure exercise out later. Ignore that for now.

And the rest is simple and easy.

So really I think the only thing that’s bothering me is the state and my healthcare company holding up my stipend paycheck. Disability pay.


It’s caused me so much psychological damage. I would sue them just for that. But of course the law is illegal, so justice never happens.

Fuck you because that’s the norm! Enjoy! ^.^

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