I ran out of suboxone, and we didn’t refill me until after 1 PM. I took the pill and Ahhhhhhh… what that’s it? I want more!

Proves I’m still addicted to opiates. It’s really bad. An opitate addiction is fucking horrible. Wow. It’s so bad.

And booze. I want to get drunk rn but not that bad but I mean I could use it.

And marijuana would be nice rn.

And caffeine. i want coffee even though too much fucks me over.

In short, I’m still a junkie. I just don’t partake of it.


How are you?

I feel terrible. I went for a walk with mom and edited some errors in the lit mag. Oh yeah, and when she talks to me it poisons me, it makes me feel worse.

She makes me feel worse.

I just discovered that.

Wow. Poisonous woman.

Soft and sneaky, kind, but behind the kindness is poison.

I’m so fucked.

I feel so bad?

I need so much. Substances.

I need so much.

I can’t stop writing because then I feel miserable and pointless.

Writing doesn’t provide long-term relief, in other words.

So I guess it’s just another drug, then.


that’s it.

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