Surviving with depression is hard. Surviving with schizophrenia is hard. Surviving with both is hard. Schizoaffective disorder gives you both. I have schizoaffective disorder.

I often think of myself as a normal person, just really lazy and mooching off society, my family, never productive, never capable, a bum who wishes he could be an alcoholic.

But…

We all know drinking too much is really bad for you, and makes you feel like shit. =/

I don’t know what to do.

Is my life out of balance? My therapist isn’t helping. Therapy doesn’t help.

I feel like if I had someone to talk to, the right person, it would revolutionize my life.

I’ve considered moving out and paying rent somewhere to live with housemates. I would, of course, interview them so see if they’re cool for me.

That would be really expensive for me, of course. And make me panic and not survive as long on my savings.

I just want to craft. Do whatever I want to do. Why do I have to…

Ugh. You’re supposed to work more in a day than you do anything else. That’s… modern society.

I don’t know why I can’t abide by that rule.

Clenching my jaw…

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