One thing is clear: My disease is crippling and scary, but I’m a fighter.
And I have to say, it’s NOT even scary if I keep it all at a distance.
The number one thing for me to avoid is engrossing or indulging in it. The depression, the psychosis, etc. So, I need to keep it all, the pain, yes, the pain, all of it, at a distance in my mind, and see the whole elephant for what it is.
Time will tell how successfully I roll.
Having said that, I might look into strategies for suicide prevention. THAT horrifies me. Suicide.
Homicide I could live with. Prison’s not so bad, even a lifetime of it. =/