I ate mom’s cooking but I ate too much of her cooking, so now I have a stomach ache. Also my belly fat is hell of a problem. These meds make me rotund. I went for a walk through the neighborhood today but didn’t lift weights, and now I really badly need to brush my teeth because they are getting gritty from the erosion from the acid in the coffee I drink. I drink a lot of decaf. I have an addiction.
Mom’s next door in her room reading a fiction novel about the Salem witches or something.
I feel like I have to hide my stomach.
Also, some Jews like to harass me. Fuckers. Slimy smiles.
I can’t just sleep to feel alright. I’m going to have to face my struggles sooner or later. My waking struggles.
Poetry is an out. But not a confrontation of challenge.
I have to study web design, and game design.
I have to.
I sound neurotic.
Building blocks approach shot. Kaboom.
Why the dictionary doesn’t work anymore. Frustrant.
I ate too much now I feel gluttonous and that Jew from the other side of the internet is making fun of me. Urghhh I don’t like him.
I need to digest my food, not my teeth. In other words.
Writing right away puts in bad position not a good idea. Should lie down first. Maybe small sips of water.
Mom shames me, too.
I don’t like people who make me a lesser value. Who make my humanity less and make me less valuable and make it seem like my worth is negotiable, that it’s less instantly because they said so. They are worth less because they do these things.
Worth less, not worthless.
I don’t feel good. I can’t believe I have to sleep again already. What gives.