It’s amazing, to me, and I think this is a fundamental thing that has been in the back of my mind for years, surprisingly…

It’s amazing, to me, that, how, how preoccuppied people are with their own shitty fucking unimportant nothing that they don’t have time to keep up with friends. No one talks to me. I was a good friend to many. No one talks to me. Fuckers.

Also impressive? How few will go out of their way to comfort someone who seems to be uncomfortable around others. No one gives a shit about the awkward, or the odd man out. Fuck you. Learn social skills. Predatorial mindset. We win. Fuck you die fucking jump off a cliff, they say to me.

Fuck. I don’t know, man. With a species like this, I don’t even know if I want friends anymore. Maybe I am better off alone.

Reading about Quiskit, IBM’s quantum computing module. For learning, among other things, on modelled software. Mm. Thinking of going through some of the tutorials. But I have too much to do, right?


I don’t even know.

My mom just used the bathroom. The bathroom shares a wall with my bedroom. So I hear whenever someone flushes. Yummy. Sewage system.

I finished my second book and submitted it. Re submitted it, tbh.

I’m behind on CSS. But there’s no point giving this point any more taxation and labor than is wanton.

Soy latte plz.

Happy holidays to you and your friends and family.

I almost think, to some people, probably friends are even more important than family.

It’s an interesting lifestyle distinction.

Brother The Middle is coming over today to help decorate the tree, and then to do some holiday shopping, and then we’ll go for a walk around the park.

I haven’t gotten out of pajamas for three days. And I’ve consistently gone to bed at like, 4 or 7 PM. Because I had symptoms and couldn’t tolerate consciousness or alive. So I chose sleep. Knocked myself out with the meds my psychiatrist probably would stop prescribing if she found out how I’m using them. So I don’t tell her.

“Be honest with your doctor!”

No fucking don’t, they don’t understand. They like imposing a narrow-minded paradigm on your life and do not understand. Your problems, your plight, nuttin. Don’t expect them to, they’re retard whores.

Haven’t touched PKD in a while.

This mindset. I’m such a team player. Without people who am I. I need to develop my solitary mindset. I need to develop that singleton capacity. I need to be strong.


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