I’m wondering whether to go on a walk today or not. As well, to lift weights or not. Exercise doesn’t work unless you do it every day.
I wish I had a tennis partner. I wish my CBT for depression therapist played and was really good at tennis, and she is gorgeous and lovely, and I want her. But I want more.
Who knows, man.
I’m immature. The words are never perfect. Somethings always just off.
Heard someone swear at me from the ether just now. Sadge.
Sigh. I don’t know. I should get occuppied with things I don’t want. I’ve been spoiled my whole life.
Or have I.
I don’t know.
I have so many video games. I don’t like any of them.
I don’t know why. None of them seem creative. There seems like a lot of room for creativity remaining in the game space. I have a lot of ideas that haven’t been implemented yet.
Mom goes to work tonight which means she has to sleep, so I can’t talk to her or hang out with her.
Middle brother, my texts are just nuisance to him. He is stoic and lifeless in his responses. I worry sometimes why he is so shy and lifeless.
I have so many good books to read. Reading is amazing. My depression in my depression schizoaffective disorder just bones me, though.
So I don’t know.
I’m trying for something emotional to tip the scales. But there’s also value in stability keeping things solid. I forget about that option sometimes. Should remember not to more often.
Twitch is just junk food for my brain. Rots it.
So I feel better now right. I vented a little so my incurable mental illness is cured.