And, regarding all this, beyond and all, is that, the fact, seeming, that, anger is immature. It’s just immature. And self-control is mature. So I want to be mature, so I should be less angry.

And fear is immature. It’s just a statement. Fear is immature. So you want to be mature, you be brave.

So yeah, some things to work on.

I’m trying to work on game design but I’m stuck and lazy and procrastinating and negative symptoms and just everything. I am making zero progress, watching video games tv channels on the computer, not doing anything worthwhile, not even working out or jogging. My leg muscles are growing weak, I can feel it in my hams, they’re getting less tight, and it’s horrifying. I’ve always been in good shape. If I’m weak, I can’t survive the fight or armaggedon or chaos end of the world or riots or whatever. I’m less fit in a fight. If I have to defend myself. That stuff. Or from an animal attack. Or to run away from someone threatening.

I need to start jogging daily through the neighborhood. Come on bro, that can’t be more than 5 minutes. They taught youo to run 10 in elementary school. I am so lazy. Fuck I’m a slob.

I don’t know what to do. My therapst is a bitch.

Fuck.

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