Been getting a lot of aggravation from small people for small reasons. Selfish small reasons. I am glad I can forgive others. This seems to be a superpower. Holy hell. Magic. Meeting at work. I think my manager may hate me but eh who cares. She’s a total whore. Senior is also a dumb fuck. […]
I feel like, something along the lines of, the 50s are returning through politics, and it’s ruining the mood, causing depression, and police dictatorship, and we need somehow to stop it or change the flow of things. I believe in that strongly, and that it’s through literature, and that good literature can have a powerful […]
I have a lot of problems. This is (one of the reasons) why I write. It accelerates the thinking process and helps me figure out my problems. Scientists will be scientists this statement has not been analytically evaluated. What I mean to say is, there is so much uncertainty everywhere, combined (short circuit in the […]
I’m horrified that my psychosis could return at any moment. It’s horrifying. And therefore, I’m not stable, from the tension of not knowing if it’s really gone alone. I’m not stable, I’m not sound, I’m not at peace. Also feeling really guilty at the same time, but fucking people don’t understand that I’m not capable […]
I don’t know where those resumes went. I applied to like ten jobs and haven’t heard back from any of them. Cue funny discussion about the theoreticals fantasy-like of what happened to the resumes. My life is mostly misery. I’m unemployed and live with family, so it’s a tragic misery–family doesn’t know what’s wrong. It’s […]
I’m really worried about Dad. But he wasn’t manic delusional when I saw him downstairs just now. So I think things are improving. He’s still gung-ho-cheery-awkward, though, which is a scary combination coming from someone who’s abused you for like 10 years due to a sports ambition. So my dad tennis etc. read David Foster […]
Someone took away my home. Someone’s behind all this, someone really evil, and I know it. It’s true.
Brother is home. My family and neighbors do so much on a regular basis to hurt me (my nociceptors) and myself. And get in my way. They don’t get in my way but they hurt me. With their control of acoustic pressure spikes, or inaudible air pressure spikes, right into my nociceptors. So it goes. […]