I have a lot of problems. This is (one of the reasons) why I write. It accelerates the thinking process and helps me figure out my problems. Scientists will be scientists this statement has not been analytically evaluated. What I mean to say is, there is so much uncertainty everywhere, combined (short circuit in the […]

I’m horrified that my psychosis could return at any moment. It’s horrifying. And therefore, I’m not stable, from the tension of not knowing if it’s really gone alone. I’m not stable, I’m not sound, I’m not at peace. Also feeling really guilty at the same time, but fucking people don’t understand that I’m not capable […]

Might seduce your dad type

I’ve been blogging so long, and I’m on twitter for a while, and no one finds me. I find no like-minded individuals. I don’t know why. Everyone’s a prick. Everyone’s soft. Everyone’s into pop and brainless. Everyone’s this or that, but no one contemplates and adores progress. No one is an engineer with a tough […]

Every night is not normal. Every night is not life. Every night is success or failure. Being alive is success or failure. My thought process, did I do it correctly or incorrectly. If/when I fail, I feel terrible. When I succeed, I’m alright. I need to stop swearing. I need to get back to more […]

Your Life is Ritual

I am so cold. I can’t talk to anyone. No one is going to save me. I want to talk to my father. He takes over the conversation, cheerfully. I’ve seen so many professors misspell and missay things in lectures you’d better just be used to typos by now if not you’re not educated like […]

Starting Work & Realizing What Needs to Happen to Revolutionize My Life

I suppose, and it doesn’t quite take a rocket scientist to figure this out but it does take a little thinking, that it only takes one person in life to be happy: Yourself. Some feed off a spouse, mutually, live amicably as 2. Some need a family, 3, 4. Some have friends, 5, 6, 7. […]

Kawaii Sugoi

Ahh, my lad. Sick of reading science documents at 2:30. So sad. Had so much hope for yee. But really, I am, sick of it. I wonder if it will get earlier and earlier. Well it’s, this much training, only happens at start of hire, so it’s all trill. Streamed last night. Dear Esther was […]