Oof, feelings, so pain, much ouwhch

I am really worried about my serious lack of progress in my career lately. I am to be studying for a career in data science and have made minuscule progress over the last few weeks. Things should move. Quickly. All work environments always say they are fast-paced. If I am not, I won’t fit in, […]

And you and you and you and you…

I keep thinking if I politely, quietly behave, the voices will go away. If I don’t occupy them, then they won’t linger. We’re walking tomorrow instead of Sunday. Brother’s wishes. I slept a lot today to try to keep from drinking. I’ll do it again, if I have to. Unfortunately I already has a breakfast […]


I am backwards and strange, as a person. I find that I antagonize the system in place where adversity must be overcome for rewards. Not just money, but the basic human emotion of feeling good. You have to achieve things to attain that emotion. I antagonize this system. Whatever being, now I am anthropomorphizing it, […]

general update

A little morning update now that I can. I still find typing difficult and there are some “psychic” phenomena I have to deal with from time to time. Twitch is still a very big trigger. Yesterday was huge akathisia, lots of having to move around the house back and forth for no reason. I found […]


I’m not that sorry. You started it. But I am really scared. Horrified. Petrified. I feel them stalking me. The others. The authorities. My peers. People. Strangers. I sense them following me in their own space. They there where they are, wherever they are, are on me and I am under them and I am […]