The usual landslide of pressure. That comes from nowhere. I wonder where it comes from, as an aside, not my main goal here. But it’s curious, is it social pressure, or psychological, or neurological, or what? Place and time. Impromptu statements like that wriggle their way in. I have to get back on track. I’ll […]
I am really worried about my serious lack of progress in my career lately. I am to be studying for a career in data science and have made minuscule progress over the last few weeks. Things should move. Quickly. All work environments always say they are fast-paced. If I am not, I won’t fit in, […]
I don’t know what to do. It never comes out how you were planning. That’s the beauty of it, isn’t it? =) I am, however, so desperately, profoundly, alone. Wow. Depression is such a deep thing. What does it mean? What does it all mean? I am, so sorry to everyone I have hurt. I […]
It’s a workday but I have no tasks assigned nor instructions on how to do anything so I’m just standing by. That means shitting around on the internet. Well. It doesn’t feel good. Not that labwork ever feels good, mind you. I don’t have any friends, not that I would want that liability, and I […]
I’m sick of waging these philosophical battles that have nothing to do with me. Leave me alone, art. Leave me alone, death. Leave me alone, people. I’m sick of waiting to be appreciated for my talent. I want what I’ve deserved all along now. Now. I don’t want to force it anymore. I’m so tired.
I’ve been blogging so long, and I’m on twitter for a while, and no one finds me. I find no like-minded individuals. I don’t know why. Everyone’s a prick. Everyone’s soft. Everyone’s into pop and brainless. Everyone’s this or that, but no one contemplates and adores progress. No one is an engineer with a tough […]
My art intake deficit has been addressed. I now acquire sufficient art (though more is always welcome). NOW the problem, NOW the problem, is, I don’t have anyone to share it with. The scene. I need fellow hipsters, fellow artists, to interact with. So. Solve me THAT, internet. Solve me that…
Life is so meaningless. I have no one to talk to. It’s not my therapist’s job to talk to me’. He just brushes me off and tells me to do my exercises. He doesn’t care. He’s not professional.
Work went well enough. I got some SOPs out of the way, reading I mean. And a 40-page statistics SOP. I’m surprised it was that easy. Talked to my senior, he’s a good guy. Saw my therapist this morning. It’s always consoling. He gave me some homework, I need to check my messages to remember […]
Ice in the bottom drawer under my bed Melts slowly so it looks like there is a urine stain on the carpet under the bed but not On the bed I am Not on the bed Any longer I arise I am about The length of the duration of the moments I perceive as the […]