sedate then immolate

I don’t think my life is very normal. I live with my mother and father. I’m 32. I have two brothers but they moved out. Only recently. I was diagnosed with depressive schizoaffective disorder 8 years ago and my therapist agrees still that is correct. I don’t do anything most of the time. All I […]

I’m horrified that my psychosis could return at any moment. It’s horrifying. And therefore, I’m not stable, from the tension of not knowing if it’s really gone alone. I’m not stable, I’m not sound, I’m not at peace. Also feeling really guilty at the same time, but fucking people don’t understand that I’m not capable […]

Passion, Drugs, Etc.

I’ve come to a realization. To what has been bothering me ever since. Since I cleaned up and started being a prude. I can’t access my emotions. They’re locked away. It’s terrible. I can no longer let out my passion, in words or dance, or tears, or anything. I don’t have access to it. I […]

Tapering off Kratom

I’m going to try to make these posts more topical, or at least, to title them appropriately. If it’s just a general update post it will be called, like, “General Update” or something like that. Not sure how the commas work in that sentence, if I did it right… It’s easiest to resist the influence […]

Maybe the psychosis will just go away on its own. You know what started it? Pot. I had my first telepathic experience on marijuana, and it was excruciating. I still get spikes of it from time to time. If it IS pot, if I exercise enough the deposits in my fat should burn away. Might […]