I am so fucking restless and antsy. My retard therapist says to do breathing lessons. He doesn’t explain how to slow down enough to do them. I guess that is for me to figure out. He doesn’t even want to own up to the fact that it’s for me to figure out. He just omits […]
I’m starting to realize that I actually, not just, well, I use kratom as entertainment because I’m desperate for it. I feel I deserve to be happy after all I’ve done, after being a good person my whole life. But it’s entertainment I can’t give up. I don’t know what the definition of an addiction […]
Okay well–and I’m blogging about this instead of reporting it to my doctor, note that–I just took a bath and had some excruciating psychosomatic spikes of pain right in my mind. Fucking I thought I was dying. Jesus Christ. And they call them panic attacks. For starters, they’re liars, and they don’t want me to […]
I have to schedule my labs. There is a conundrum I cannot solve in my brain, of electrochemical network discharge, that makes things what they are. I cannot solve existence, I cannot solve Self, I cannot solve Other. Coronavirus is easy. It’s the wrench in the gears we wanted–are you happy yet? Or is it? […]
CONTENT WARNING: Hate speech.