Oof, feelings, so pain, much ouwhch

I am really worried about my serious lack of progress in my career lately. I am to be studying for a career in data science and have made minuscule progress over the last few weeks. Things should move. Quickly. All work environments always say they are fast-paced. If I am not, I won’t fit in, […]

It’s hard. It’s hard living with family that is so anti-medicine and doesn’t understand basic science (statistics, the statistics behind statistical trials). They always blow side effect profiles out of proportion (there are side effects in a small minority of patients, so I WILL get the side effects–fucking what? that logic is gross). The way […]


I am backwards and strange, as a person. I find that I antagonize the system in place where adversity must be overcome for rewards. Not just money, but the basic human emotion of feeling good. You have to achieve things to attain that emotion. I antagonize this system. Whatever being, now I am anthropomorphizing it, […]

Beginnning, after long struggle, to understand the meaning of life

This is critically important: If you’ve suffered as much as me you, once you get out of it, begin to understand the meaning of life. And it’s critically important that I explain it to you. Only, I don’t know that I will be able to do so easily in just one or two posts. So! […]

Returning to My Base(s)

This is a tough one. I don’t have anything I used to have. Nick’s gone. Amber’s gone. I don’t date Ashley anymore. I’m years in the past, but you know what, I’m not ashamed–the past was good, why not relish it? I don’t know why I feel the urge to move when things are still. […]