Play It (Indeed)

I don’t know what to say. How do I redeem myself. These people that haunt me, do they do so for a reason? Something I can fix, perhaps? Who knows. They won’t say even if I do ask. Because it’s not real, I’m crazy, what are you talking about, varjak. Game design, web design, poetry. […]

And my parents are freaking out over this cat. They just can’t shut up. Fucking retards. And there’s news about China’s market on TV. And I am antsy beyond measure, and need a lot of beer to calm down (alcoholism) or lots of coffee to feel good (decaf, not a caffeine addiction). My life is […]

Oof, feelings, so pain, much ouwhch

I am really worried about my serious lack of progress in my career lately. I am to be studying for a career in data science and have made minuscule progress over the last few weeks. Things should move. Quickly. All work environments always say they are fast-paced. If I am not, I won’t fit in, […]

It’s hard. It’s hard living with family that is so anti-medicine and doesn’t understand basic science (statistics, the statistics behind statistical trials). They always blow side effect profiles out of proportion (there are side effects in a small minority of patients, so I WILL get the side effects–fucking what? that logic is gross). The way […]


I am backwards and strange, as a person. I find that I antagonize the system in place where adversity must be overcome for rewards. Not just money, but the basic human emotion of feeling good. You have to achieve things to attain that emotion. I antagonize this system. Whatever being, now I am anthropomorphizing it, […]