It Can Help You Think More Clearly

Iiiiiiiiiiii should write a blog post. Let’s see if I can remember anything that happened today.

Well I’m supposed to write a cover letter b/c it’s mandatory for this job in Europe bioinformatics that I really really want for like a famous genomics institution. It would be a life-changing experience and an epic resume-booster if I got it. The deadline to apply is some time next week (not specifying for confidentiality reasons).

I’ve been doing a lot of sysadmin/linux stuff. My server is running! But the internet connectivity is shit. (Not just, the wifi is weak/sparse, but like, the drivers that need it to work aren’t even installed / can’t be installed). It’s mega-fucked. But I’m learning a lot. I just wish it wasn’t so anxiety-inducing.

Still can’t read. I have like a hundred tabs of science articles and biotech company news updates, white papers, etc. on my browser. Have I read any of them yet?

So yeah. You can tell I’m mega working on my career at this point in time. That’s why I haven’t been bitching on here as much! I’m getting a life! Hurrah! n.n*

But that’s about it. I had six tacos today, an egg and some bread for breakfast, and a giant bowl of sour kraut and bean soup. The soup was made by my mother. She makes some bomb soups. Super Russian. Fucking awesome. Goes really well with habanero sauce. Super spicy and flavorful. Did I mention I love sour kraut? The best.

Not much poetry lately. The collective is slllooooooooow. Not my fault! The other guys are probably going through like bipolar depressive episodes and stuff. Ugh. Fucking sucks. Fucking blows. I couldn’t decide between sucks and blows. Pretend I said both at the same time. (How would you denotate that in writing?)

Self-care. I still don’t shower, but I’m doing everything else that is hygeine. I’ve been spending a lot on things that I “need” lately. But I really do… need them! Like, acne cleaning bath gel, facial cleansing wipes (I have mega acne in case you couldn’t deduce), (like, all over my back and… even lower n.n), and just, all this computer stuff is super fascinating. I would love a job in bioinformatics. I love biology, the theory of it, and I love working at the computer. I just wish I could FOCUS and READ better. Ugh. It’ll come back in time. I just have to stubbornly not give up. Not now, not ever. Quit, but don’t give up. b.b

Computers are smart, sometimes. Spooky smart. O_o

And most of the time, all the other times, they’re fucking inanimate morons. Har har har. *ponches a computar*

What can I say. My love.

So much studying to do.  I have to watch videos for my coursera bioinformatics series, but I hate watching / can’t watch videos! There’s this giant fucking mental block to seeing other humans preaching at me. I don’t know what it is. It super gets in the way of my learning. The material’s not even that complicated. I just don’t like watching people talk at me. Sigh. ~u.u~

Anyway. Things are going pretty alright. I upped the clonazepam to 1 mg a day, and I’m feeling more relaxed. More importantly than that, I think the self-care is helping, and I’m finally feeling the effects of the 10 mg abilify (upped from 5 mg a few weeks ago). Which is super beneficial and like a God send. Mood stabilizers ftw. “It can help you think more clearly.”

Well. Anyway. How are you all? Feel free to leave a comment below to update or relate to my awesome amazing life. Or just say hi. OR JUST COMPLETELY GHOST ME FINE YOU ASS-HATS JUST DON’T SAY ANYTHING AT ALL I DON’T EVEN CARE DO YOU THINK I CARE? Joking, joking. : )

That’s all.