I’m horrified that my psychosis could return at any moment. It’s horrifying. And therefore, I’m not stable, from the tension of not knowing if it’s really gone alone. I’m not stable, I’m not sound, I’m not at peace. Also feeling really guilty at the same time, but fucking people don’t understand that I’m not capable […]

Starting Work & Realizing What Needs to Happen to Revolutionize My Life

I suppose, and it doesn’t quite take a rocket scientist to figure this out but it does take a little thinking, that it only takes one person in life to be happy: Yourself. Some feed off a spouse, mutually, live amicably as 2. Some need a family, 3, 4. Some have friends, 5, 6, 7. […]

Kawaii Sugoi

Ahh, my lad. Sick of reading science documents at 2:30. So sad. Had so much hope for yee. But really, I am, sick of it. I wonder if it will get earlier and earlier. Well it’s, this much training, only happens at start of hire, so it’s all trill. Streamed last night. Dear Esther was […]

Getting into the habit of blogging as soon as I wake up. I won’t be able to do that once work starts. Will have to wait until I get home. So, I don’t know if they want me on-site on Monday or what, I probably have to at the least to pick up my work […]

This place is sort of the unofficial log of my schizophrenia. I am diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder but I’m not depressed anymore so I think the diagnosis should be changed to bona fide schizophrenia but they didn’t do that because psychiatry is an ineffectuate shitshow. I can’t stay in my room too long because of […]